The reason of my affection

Should I face the reason of my affection?

Why should I?

They say that it wold be good to me,

And it would for him too…

I guess That’s the reason of my doubt.

Do I want to let he be happy?

Do I want to make he suffer as I did and I do?

To do nothing about it is really harmful to him?

To me?

Maybe I’m staying this way because  I can hurt him without feeling guilty about it.

But now that i’ve realised it, what am I going to do?

Should I face him?

Is it so bad to want to hurt him?

Am I really happy with his pain?

To know that he is suffering with me is better than to release him from his pain and suffer alone?

To make him suffer is really helping me to get over my own pain?

Maybe I’m not a such good person as I thought…

I told them that I was releasing them of me.

Releasing them of this problematique.

But I knew that I was going to cause them more pain.

And putting them into a situation closer to mine.

To face him is really the best thing to do?

Will I be strong enough for it?

Will I have the guts for it?

The last time that I’ve tried to make things get better it all ended this way…

Am I stronger now?

Will I be able to look at those eyes?

Will I be able to look to the reason of my affection and release him from his pain?

Will I be able to let him be happy, and untie bond that united us to the same miserable situation?

As bad as this situation is, I think this is the only way to feel him close to me…

Will I be able to free him from myself?

Will I be able to free myself from him?

Do I want to?

Do I need to?

Will I be able to?

Is there a way to do it?

Will it make thing better?

Will it make thing worse?

Well,

I don’t know,

But I hope things can’t get worse than they already are,

An all I can do is to hope.

Rodrigo.